I went for my dream in sports
I chased my sports dream, landing impressive roles in the industry.
I committed fully, striving for perfection—always giving 100%. Enduring 14-hour workdays was common. I accepted pushing my limits, content with being in the background, believing recognition would follow if I worked hard enough.
Until I was overlooked
Until the moment when, as the one who had worked the most hours on the project, I was completely ignored when it came to handing out the credits. And others took credit for my incredibly hard work. At that moment, the frustration that I had apparently bottled up came out; I was angry and could only cry. I had worked so incredibly hard and when it was time to be rewarded for my hard work, I was ignored.
Because that pat on the back, that external validation, that’s what I was working for, that’s what I was constantly searching for. That’s why I worked my butt off. That’s why I pushed myself beyond my limits. I called myself a perfectionist, but really I was just scared of making mistakes and constantly felt like “I’m not good enough.”
I am the oldest daughter, always an exemplary child, super independent and the ideal student. I behaved exactly as expected and followed the crowd. I hardly ever spoke up for myself, because what if someone disapproved? High standards were set for me at home and I really grew up with the mindset of “if you try your best at school or work, everything will turn out well.” But it didn’t work out for me. I had worked my butt off and was passed over. Unseen.
Time for change
In the period that followed, I sought help and discovered the world of personal development. This taught me a great deal about myself such as control, taking responsibility, and where my need for external validation came from. I discovered why I was unnecessarily keeping myself small. I also learned how, as a woman in a male-dominated world, I can confidently leverage my feminine qualities.
As a result, I now confidently run projects and have been asked to take on various leadership roles. I’m now able to easily delegate responsibilities which not only makes me a more enjoyable colleague but also a better person. I am now a very happy individual. The obedient girl from back then has transformed into a powerful woman.
“If you do what you always did, you will get what you always got”
From monkey rock to matriarchal elephants.
There’s only one thing, I wish I had learned and known this earlier. Especially because I observed it a lot around me, with women working in a male-dominated industries, I decided to start coaching other women in this regard. No one should miss out on a leadership position in a male-dominated world simply because they don’t showcase themselves enough.
I teach women how to bring out the best in themselves, how to confidently navigate in this male-dominated world, how to position themselves firmly on the “ape rock” and thereby secure that coveted promotion or job, all by being completely authentic and leveraging their feminine qualities.
Or, as I like to put it: from the ape rock to matriarchal elephants. The matriarch uses her social skills to show compassion and care for the entire herd. She leads the herd with her courage and wisdom and, using her social skills to establish, maintain and strenthen close connections throughout the elephant family, benefiting the entire herd.
What you should know about me
I am straightforward and don’t mince words; I always give my clients honest feedback, a well-intentioned “kick-ass”.
Don’t come to me with a victim mentality or a lack of ownership. That’s not my style; I’m all about empowerment and accountability.
My experience in a male-dominated world, particularly in the sports industry where I’ve been a key player for 20 years at the highest level, allows me to provide my clients with practical opportunities directly from my journey that they might not see themselves.
My friends often describe me as driven, determined, and goal-oriented. I persist where others would have stopped long ago. Additionally, there’s also the feminine connection; I take pleasure in bringing people together, infused with empathy and understanding.
My vision on female leadership
In 2024, you still find remarkably few women in leadership positions, especially in male-dominated fields such as sports, technology, or ICT. Many women then point to men. I think that there are many women who still unnecessarily keep themselves small; the women who do lead are the ones who show themselves.
They often don’t understand why it has to be so difficult. The key lies with the women who are still hiding. I believe that the ball is in their court: they need to step up and overcome their insecurities. It’s not an easy task, but it is incredibly valuable for themselves and for the entire (sports) world!
Typically Esther
- Proud aunt
- A big sports fan, especially football; since 2004, I've been attending all the European Championships and World Cups, and I even have a seat on the famous Oranjebus, the orange double-decker
- A real global citizen: on the phone, the question "are you in the Netherlands?" was often asked first. And that's not surprising with my roots: I'm a Dutch/Surinamese/Chinese mix with a touch of the Caribbean.
- Love numbers and skilled with computers (that's what you get as a child of two parents who studied mathematics)
- When the music starts playing, I just have to dance.
- Incredible tea lover; on my desk, you'll very often see my own mug with ginger and a cinnamon stick
- According to friends, I have an elephant's memory; although I have to admit it's not as good as it used to be, I still remember all the songs from my childhood by "Kinderen voor Kinderen" by heart (talk about useless information 🙈)
- Guilty pleasures: ridged chips and white chocolate
- Sporty and (still) competitive; I enjoy playing padel, tennis, skiing, fitness, cycling, and golf. I also practice kickboxing. And these days, I can handle losing a bit better than before.
What can I do for you?
Enough about me, let’s talk about you. You probably landed on my website for a reason. What can I do for you? Do you have a question for me? Please feel free to contact me.